My ‘Boyfriend’, or Day 10 NaNoWriMo

Friday again, and that means it’s back to my restaurant night job, something I look forward to with utter rapture, I can tell you. Let’s see if the kitchen staff continue to give me grief.

On the plus side, I notice the restaurant people have stopped asking me whether I have a boyfriend. This was months after a ploy of mine that involved, ahem, borrowing a colleague from my temporary job, and asking (okay, begging) him to pretend to be my boyfriend.

That’s right, we had a ‘pretend’ date in the same restaurant I work. Horrible, I know, but I actually enjoyed dinner with the boy, who was charming and very sporting about the plan.

Anyway since then, the restaurant people have stopped nagging me about my relationship status, which is a relief. Before that they tried to set me up with someone, something that has already happened to me twice!

I know they mean well, but I swear, it’s like there’s something genetically ingrained in the Chinese people to find out whether you’ve been grafted by the hip to anyone yet.

Once I had a Malaysian colleague who expressed surprise that I didn’t plan to marry anytime soon. Shaking her head, she cited how the Bible said that we should “go forth and multiply”, adding that women even have a duty to bear children.

I can’t remember what I replied, but one thing I do feel strongly about:

  • I don’t need to be married for my life to be complete.
  • I don’t need to have a partner to be content or even happy – although I do admit it can get lonely around Christmas or Chinese New Year. But isn’t that what parents, siblings and friends are for?
  • I feel I am still getting to know myself. And I can barely look after myself, kitchen disasters notwithstanding. How can I be expected to care for another human being?
  • Selfish as it is, I’m enjoying my privacy and independence too much to give it all up, and yeah, people knowingly say someday I’ll meet that someone I would be willing to make the Ultimate Sacrifice for. But until then I am having too much fun!

Man, I don’t how I suddenly ended up ranting about singlehood. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Christmas is coming around, and I’m feeling a little melancholy. I know this is my ‘fault’, but at least I can feel thankful I have so many friends to take the place of where partner and children would be!

Some years ago, I decided to have a serious talk with my parents.

I asked them if it was all right I didn’t marry yet. After all, I was the only daughter in a (mostly) Chinese family, and I was already about 26 or 28. In Malaysia, much of the older generation still expects you to marry around a certain age, and there’s bound to be pressure when the next social gathering comes along and the relatives cheerfully ask you when is that big day.

But my mom said: “As long as you’re happy, we’re happy.”

I don’t know if they realise it, but my parents have given me the greatest gift of all. They’ve given me love and support, but most of all they have given me the freedom to choose how I wish to live my life.

Perhaps someday God will direct me to someone I’ll live the rest of my life with. Until then I can only humbly enjoy this gift of happiness.

Speaking of happiness…

Report Card

Arghhh! Still on massive Skyrim envy, torturing myself with every video game review I do not quite read. A friend installed the game a few hours ago, and I can only vainly listen to snippets of non-quite-but-verging-on spoilers.

Tackled more of the NaNoWriMo yesterday! And 600 more words of Malaysian Dark. I must finish my Malaysian novel! I am aiming for December to finish first draft.

10am. Must sleeeeeeep.

17330 / 50000 words. 35% done!

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5 Comments

Filed under Books, Computer Games, Family, Fantasy, Malaysia, Novel, Photography, Skyrim, State of Mind, Triumph, Work

5 responses to “My ‘Boyfriend’, or Day 10 NaNoWriMo

  1. ikawrites

    Ahh the joys of singlehood :D

    Well spoken! I share your thoughts and your belief on this, 100%! I truly believe in the need to find yourself first before committing yourself to anyone, let alone getting married and having a kid.

    Happiness does not depend on whether you have a partner or not. Although of course, having a partner does grant you a different kind of contentment than being single. Regardless, I strongly believe that singlehood shouldn’t be treated like a death sentence. Society however has taught us, and is continuously imposing the idea that “If you are alone. You MUST be miserable.” Which is entirely untrue.

    A lot of the girls I know who rushed into a relationship bordered on desperation. And when they DO end up with someone, it either never lasts, or they begin to see that they should have taken their time to know themselves first and find that balanced state of mind instead of relying on their partners to do that for them. Because face it, partners come and go.

    The fact that you’re out there, living the life YOU want, with your parents’ full blessing, is truly a precious gift :) And I laughed at your story about the fake boyfriend, because I did the same thing once!

    I am single. I am completely happy. I’m so busy pursuing my dreams and living life in the moment that I don’t have time to worry about not settling down when my peers have begun to raise babies.

    Way to go, for sticking to your beliefs, and not letting anyone else tell you different. :D

  2. Matt

    You’re spending Christmas with us, aren’t you?

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